Fuck

Found this article over at the reputable news source that is The Onion, (http://www.theonion.com), its crude, but theres something thats just Oh-so-funny about it.

"I'll say it. I like to fuck. I do it a lot.
And sometimes it gets me into unfortunate situations.
Like right now. Right now I am royally fucking fucked.

See, I went to this big dinner party the other night,
trying to stay out of trouble, but lo and be-fucking-hold,
who's there but one of the fuckfiends from our sales team,
wearing fuck-me pumps and this little green skirt.
So I fucked her. Twice. First time quick, second time slow.
And then I fucked her friend Michelle (a great fuck),
and Michelle's boyfriend, Alec, and his ex-girlfriend Rina,
who's a fucking Persian sex goddess. Same bed, same night.
Fucking incredible fucking.

Then it hits me: Fuck. Rina is my boss's daughter,
that fucking fuck Alec fucked my sister last year,
and my damn wife told me last week that if
I don't stop fucking other chicks she's going to
"walk out that [fucking] door and never come back."
And it takes a fuckload of nerve for my wife to say that.
But look, I'm not some two-bit fuck who fucks up and
then expects some other fucknut to clean up
his fucking mess. A man's got to take some responsibility
or he'll never amount to shit. I fucked my way into this,
and by God, I'll fuck my way out.

I'm so far the fuck up shit's creek,
I can't see straight, but that's my own fucking problem.
If I'm between a rock and a hard fuck,
I'm going to choose the hard fuck every time.
No regrets. I saw an out-of-this-fucking-world
gorgeous piece of ass-meat,
and I pounced like a fucking cougar.
Any fuckhead who thinks I should have
fucking walked away is a fucking fucktard
and I'll say it to his fucking face, the fuckface.
But fuck if I know what to do next.

If my mom were still alive,
I'd cry on her fucking shoulder.
Man, I really stuck my fucking cock in it this time.
I know a lot of fuckwads who wouldn't do
fuck-all about this predicament, just fuck off for a while
and wait for the whole thing to blow over.
But you see, that's just not this motherfucker's style.
What the fuck ever happened to accountability?
I can be a real fuck, sure,
but I fucking finish what I start, and not just when I'm fucking.

In the end, I only see one way out of this:
more fucking. Much more.
An all-out, nuts-in-the-guts fuckfest.
Yes, one false-fucking-move and
you're ass-first in a fucking genuine
clusterfuck real fucking quick—but do I look
like a green-eared sportfucker to you, fuckrod?
Item Number Fuck on my agenda? Swoop home
like a fuck-falcon and fuck my old lady like I love her.
Keep fucking the skirt girl, plus hot-fuck
Rina to keep that screamer quiet.
Then line up a pity-fuck-and-suck with
that fat-fuck deli chick, roll on out for a
balls-out fuckfest with the redhead twins
(ménage-à-fucking-trois, for you French fucks),
and a three-day, four-night fuck-stravagaza
down to Mexi-fucking-co next weekend to see
the fuckable Miss Esmerelda.

At the end of the day, I don't really give a fuck.
These women can fuck me around, but they
know not to take it too fucking far. You know why?
Because you don't fuck with a fucker, that's why.
And if you fuck with a fucker like me,
you'll end up being the fuck that gets fucked. Simple as that.

Fuck."